Reasons I Still Haven’t Joined Facebook

In case you cared, here they are:

Afraid that I will not be able to come up with interesting status updates like:  “Eating a sandwich now.”  Or  “Not eating a sandwich.  Maybe tomorrow.”  Or  “We are out of pickles, which would have gone well with a sandwich.”

Not able to find a flattering photo of me to use as a profile pic.

Afraid of who may find me on Facebook.  (No, I mean really afraid.)

Worried that only old people use Facebook now, because that’s what happened to blogs and Twitter.

I understand Facebook could become something of a “time-waster.” 

Family photos posted to FB will show how hideous-looking my kids are compared to everyone else’s gorgeous, perfect, photogenic children.  Yet all they seem to do is take pictures of themselves.

I don’t like being “Poked.”

I’m afraid my kids won’t “Friend” me.

Afraid my kids WILL “Friend” me.

Can’t lie about what I am doing on a Saturday night if I “check in” somewhere without really thinking about it.

Russia could infiltrate and surreptitiously influence our future elections, thereby causing democracy to die, plunging our country and others around the world to descend into totalitarian control.

I know, ridiculous, right?

And the number 1 reason not to go on Facebook:

Some people think it has become “too political.”

Well LOL! (as the kids say–although they will deny EVER saying that).

I have news for you: these days merely drawing breath has become political.

So what should I do?

(NOTE: This was my dilemma in 2012. I guess you know how it all worked out for me regarding Facebook. Good thing none of these predictions came true.)

6 thoughts on “Reasons I Still Haven’t Joined Facebook

  1. HI LORI. Hi.
    Okay two things. I will OR WILL NOT friend you on Facebook IF you join. Whatever you want/don’t want.

    Also, remember when I set this blog up for you, would you be willing to edit some very, very short story of mine in return, say a year down the line? MAYBE, I may never even write it. It’s a true story about a cruise I went on and there is some NSFW or P (Parents) informations in this story. Write your answer to me on Facebook. Thanx.

  2. I admit it – I’m a FB whore. I love it!! And yes, I know that I am old and dorky but still, LOVE IT!!

    And I too will friend/not friend you if you join.

    And Hi, missed your posts.

  3. Hahaha Katie. In case you haven’t heard, I’m kinda on the fence about Facebook.

    (Go check yer messages on FB. My alias is Jim. You will recognize me by my avatar which shows three hideously deformed children.)

  4. About two years ago I received this email from my daughter saying to check out a photo she posted of me. However, before I could view it I had to “sign up.” I reluctantly did so. A day later I had about 43 friends. I was totally against this thing called facebook. It was annoying. I mean did I really care about my daughters digestive habits? Or my sons taunting of his gf? I’ll have to admit I am right there with Anne I am a fb whore. I just cannot get enough. Sometimes I have to say, “Move away from the facebook.” But then I think of some witty, or if truth be told, witless gem to write and I am sucked right back in. Be warned though Ms. Latebutsoon, if you join you may find that you are technologically deficient and in need of an iphone so you can update your status with on the spot drunken updates like – “wheresmyfluckinglassofpinotgrigiobitch”


  5. Actually, Joyce, you bring up a good point, one that is dear to my heart and concerns me at the moment: whereISmyfluckinglassofpinotgrigiobitch?

    Where THEHELL did you hide it?

  6. Once again we are all rejoicing at the return of late but soon after a hiatus – do know you are a closet fb stalker – i can accept that – especially with a glass in hand an knowing you secretly know we had our sandwiches!
    Hugs – chat real soon

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