No, not that. It’s the time of the month that I’m supposed to be writing the September newsletter for my church. Haven’t started it yet, and yes, I am aware of the date.
Yesterday I sat down at the computer with the intention of getting it done, but there was all that post-Emmy coverage on the Internets to wade through. I just had to see Ricky Gervais handing out beers to the audience again (hilarious!) and Stephen Colbert lose to Jon Stewart for the fifth year in row (outrageous!).
And, of course, there was also the exciting coverage and commentary relating to Saturday, 8/28/10’s HUGE event: “The Beckoning.” (“Restoring Honor” was the actual name Glenn Beck used for this non-political political event and huge ego-trip. I am so confused about this: Restoring WHOSE honor? America’s? Certainly not Glenn Beck’s. Why does America’s honor need restoring? And why should we believe that Glenn Beck or Sarah Palin can help with this?)
The fact that he wore a bullet-proof vest during his quasi-religious revival/nationalistic orgy of stupidity/incoherent stringing together of “patriotic” catch-phrases—or whatever the hell this event was supposed to be—on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s historic “I Have a Dream” speech is interesting. WHAT was he so afraid of at his own rally? Perhaps he is aware of the mental instability of many of his followers, stirred-up and brainwashed by the hate-filled rhetoric the Beckster has been spewing on both his radio show and his Fox Propaganda Network TV program ever since Obama was elected. Maybe he was afraid that someone would realize that he has NO right to attempt to hijack Dr. King’s message of non-violence and unity between all races as he tries to promote himself as a modern-day advocate for civil rights. Which is an ideal Beck has NEVER stood for. . . Don’t get me started on this. And of course playing sidekick to this grandstanding rodeo clown—his straight-man, so to speak—was Sarah Palin, sweetheart of the Teabagger Party, that bumpitted, bewigged, fish-mouthed monstrosity who will burst out of the hell-depths, screeching, “America, do youuu looove yer Freeeedom?” whenever anybody baits a hook with $100,000. So I couldn’t miss the coverage of that.
So. I had to catch up on all that before I could start the newsletter, which is due, hmmm, I guess, NOW. But I couldn’t stop my brain from thinking about possible topics for this blog. Possible idea #1: My weird new neighbors who just moved in behind me last week, who, among other things, like to shine lights into my backyard and TV room windows, starting at about 11:30 every night. Note to these new neighbors: Do NOT expect muffins. And for idea #2, there’s the sappy and sentimental: We dropped our youngest child off at college last week and so are now empty-nesters. I know, pathetic.
Let’s have some audience participation. What would YOU rather hear about? You’re welcome to tell me in the comments. Anything to help me avoid writing this newsletter.
PLEASE DISTRACT ME! is what I’m saying.
UPDATE: BREAKING NEWS!
AMERICA’S HONOR RESTORED: Bristol Palin to compete alongside D-listers David Hasselhoff and Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” in ABC’s Dancing With the Stars. http://on.mtv.com/d6rQJh
Well folks, it’s official. Bristol Palin, “celeb-utante” daughter of failed politician and professional grifter Sarah Palin (notice I didn’t say “celeb-utard,” although I really wanted to), has finally reached the highest pinnacle of success ever achieved for having a baby out of wedlock with some dumbass redneck from Wasilly. She will be paid somewhere between $100,000-$500,000 for her appearances on DWTS, depending on how long she lasts. Hope she doesn’t Tripp! (Or Quitt!)
Do you hear that scraping sound? There won’t be a bottom left in that barrel after this.