Things I Imagine Hot Guys Are Saying About Me Now

“Not much of a rack, but would’ya check out the vocabulary on her!”

“I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for doing crossword puzzles!”

“Those bifocals really bring out your cataracts.”

“She looks like the type that goes wild… in the kitchen.”

“Proof that lady, guys, she’s trying to scam the senior discount again!”

“Man, that woman is sizzling hot!  She is smokin’!”  (Nope… hot flash.)

I’d let her make me a sandwich anytime!”

“Should I help that lady cross the street?”