Reasons I Still Haven’t Joined Facebook
May 11, 2011
In case you cared, here they are:
Afraid that I will not be able to come up with interesting status updates like: “Eating a sandwich now.” Or “Not eating a sandwich. Maybe tomorrow.” Or “We are out of pickles, which would have gone well with a sandwich.”
Not able to find a flattering photo of me to use as a profile pic.
Afraid of who may find me on Facebook. (No, I mean really afraid.)
Worried that only old people use Facebook now, because that’s what happened to blogs and Twitter.
I understand Facebook could become something of a “time-waster.”
Family photos posted to FB will show how hideous-looking my children are. Yet all they seem to do is take pictures of themselves.
I don’t like being “Poked.”
I’m afraid my kids won’t “Friend” me.
Waiting for the next hip new thing (FaceSpace? i-Face? Fumblr?).
Afraid my kids WILL “Friend” me.
Can’t lie about what I am doing on a Saturday night.
And the number 1 reason not to go on Facebook:
Sarah Palin is on Facebook. If she tries to “Friend” me I will have to press the “Ignore” button, because there is no “Fuck You” button.
NOTE: It may be coming soon, despite viruses and Sarah Palin. There are too many good friends that I’d like to connect with to be able to ignore it anymore, and no one seems to want to use old-fashioned pony-express (e-mail) these days.
May 12, 2011 at 2:43 am
HI LORI. Hi.
Okay two things. I will OR WILL NOT friend you on Facebook IF you join. Whatever you want/don’t want.
Also, remember when I set this blog up for you, would you be willing to edit some very, very short story of mine in return, say a year down the line? MAYBE, I may never even write it. It’s a true story about a cruise I went on and there is some NSFW or P (Parents) informations in this story. Write your answer to me on Facebook. Thanx.
May 12, 2011 at 11:11 am
I admit it – I’m a FB whore. I love it!! And yes, I know that I am old and dorky but still, LOVE IT!!
And I too will friend/not friend you if you join.
And Hi, missed your posts.
May 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm
Hahaha Katie. In case you haven’t heard, I’m kinda on the fence about Facebook.
(Go check yer messages on FB. My alias is Jim. You will recognize me by my avatar which shows three hideously deformed children.)
May 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm
About two years ago I received this email from my daughter saying to check out a photo she posted of me. However, before I could view it I had to “sign up.” I reluctantly did so. A day later I had about 43 friends. I was totally against this thing called facebook. It was annoying. I mean did I really care about my daughters digestive habits? Or my sons taunting of his gf? I’ll have to admit I am right there with Anne I am a fb whore. I just cannot get enough. Sometimes I have to say, “Move away from the facebook.” But then I think of some witty, or if truth be told, witless gem to write and I am sucked right back in. Be warned though Ms. Latebutsoon, if you join you may find that you are technologically deficient and in need of an iphone so you can update your status with on the spot drunken updates like – “wheresmyfluckinglassofpinotgrigiobitch”
Cheers.
May 13, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Actually, Joyce, you bring up a good point, one that is dear to my heart and concerns me at the moment: whereISmyfluckinglassofpinotgrigiobitch?
Where THEHELL did you hide it?
May 13, 2011 at 7:39 pm
Once again we are all rejoicing at the return of late but soon after a hiatus – do know you are a closet fb stalker – i can accept that – especially with a glass in hand an knowing you secretly know we had our sandwiches!
Hugs – chat real soon